Who has two green thumbs and loves plant puns? We do! Plant lovers who enjoy a clever pun are our kind of people. Whether you’re looking to share some cactus puns, tree puns, or just some puns of good ole house plants, this list of plant puns is perfect.
One of the plant pick-up lines may be perfect for a budding romance. Or they would make a perfect gift tag to go along with a new plant. These work for artificial plants too!
Plant Puns
What do you get when you plant a lightbulb? A power plant.
Square roots. Can we please get a mathematician in here?
Best Plant Puns
- Uno moss
- I hate when my bay leaves.
- Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
- My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I’m not sure what it stems from, but I’m stuck with it.
Pickup Plant Puns
- You grow, girl!
- You’re my bam-boo.
- I’d never leaf you.
- You make my heart skip a beet.
- Aloe you vera much.
- Wood you be mine?
- Let me plant one on ya!
- Our friendship is unbeleafable.
- I’m very frond of you.
- You had me at aloe.
- My heart beets for you.
- You are a spud muffin!
- You are absolutely radishing.
- If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
- Talk dirt to me.
- I love you from my head tomatoes
Plant Jokes
- What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
- How much room should you give fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
- How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
- What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
- Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
- What must plants drink responsibly? Root beer!
- Why did the lettuce close its eyes? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
- What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You’re one in a melon
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner? Because he couldn’t find a date.
- How are you doing zucchini? I’m vine, thanks for asking.
- What did one plant say to another? What’s ta-ma-ta?
- How do trees get online? They just log in.
- Why was the cactus so smug? It was an arrogant prick!
- What do you call a nervous tree? A sweaty palm!
- What’s the saddest plant? A weeping widow!
- What do you call a garden nursery? Plant Parenthood!
- What did one plant lady say to another plant lady? “Botany plants lately?”
- Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
Flower Puns & Flower Jokes
- What does a kid say to his mother on Mother’s Day? I’m proud to be y-orchid!
- My wife told me I planted the wrong flowers. “Oopsie daisy!”
- What did the firefighter say to the plant? Iris my life to save you.
- What do you call a grandpa flower? Poppy.
- What happens to a flower when it’s shy? It turns rosy!
- What is a rose’s favorite line? I like big buds and I cannot lie.
- Why didn’t the flower get a second date? He was a garden variety.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? “What’s up, little bud?”
Herb Jokes
- I’m kind of a big dill.
- It’s party thyme.
- Chive never met anyone quite like you.
- Thistle be the best day ever!
- Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
- Long thyme no see.
- We’re mint to be.
- Good chives only.
- I be-leaf in you!
- Sweet chive of mind.
